Basically, I'm outraged and angered (more pissing myself off to be honest) cos he's a fckn liar...ahaha...no not really...but im thinking about what you were saying before about 'knowing if someone is 100 per cent into you'...maybe i've fucked this up. I try to comfort myself and tell ppl that we are just 'seeing each other' but why didn't he call or txt me five days after he got back? if he was really into me, then that wouldn't have happened...so i'm not making a single move...waiting for him to get around to me...maybe give it another five days from today...i know i said that i had nothing to lose and txted him on monday but i'm not going to put anymore effort..he has to re-ignite this..
 
its made me question what we both want. This is what i want:
 
a relationship
attention
great sex that involves some form of emotional intimacy as well...
 
a relationship
things could have developed but i was just making excuses all the fckn time...
 
attention
he does give me attention..fck, his out building houses somewhere at caboolture but still has the time to txt me while his hammering sticks into buildings...:) ahah
 
great sex
can only come if the two people communicate
 
why am i complaining? i really am starting to think that i am getting my rags next week...
 

I'm sitting here trying to study right and all I keep thinking about is sex and ryan. I wrote this txt msg for you but then realised that i had so much to say in one short stupid text mesg but I've decided that I'm not going to sit around and try to think positive thoughts. I really should just chill, focus on what I have to accomplish today and not wonder about what he's thinking, what he's doing or whatever.

 I  have studied many approaches, and found the whole world of learning to "lead through change" fascinating if not daunting. Eventually, after trying many theories and cultish prescriptions on for size, I decided I could bank on only one principle, half of which you may recall from my earlier indoctrination: "Do the right thing in the right way at the right time." Of course, you are probably already asking yourself, "But, how do you know what are the right things, the right ways and the right times?" The answers are often inside of you but just as often, blocked from your view or access. This is what coaching is often about; removing the cataracts from your inner vision. In the last couple of years, I worked heavily with people exposed to various kinds of traumatic events either current or past. I have been impressed by how many people have suffered trauma, often unspoken, silent killers of individual potential and family unity.

On the other hand, I have been equally impressed by the resilience of individuals to endure, persist, overcome, reach beyond, create out of pain, and to climb their personal mountains while feeling thankful for each day of their journey. I hope this meandering of shared history and learnings will be more helpful to you than a standard resume of my jobs and accomplishments. At the very least, you may now be acquainted with some of my philosophies that I try to insert into practical territories of every day life. Sometimes the goals are not clear from the start and the initial coaching focuses on clarifying a direction and a pathway on which to undertake the journey. And if worse comes to worse, go on holiday. Stay at a nice place. Go somewhere different, just rent out a nice apartment at the beach and relax. This is often a life altering process that must be absorbed, worked on, and celebrated along the way.